grandma shit on top of the toilet
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
