I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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