A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I still have a little drunk in my system
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
