It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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