Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
