We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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