Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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