I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
