Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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