Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
