it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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