I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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