I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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