We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
