Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize