Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
