It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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