what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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