Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
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We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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