What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
