fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
