The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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