you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you would pick up someone in the library
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just want nice things and good sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
