hotel room ftw
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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