I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We need to rekindle our bromance
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
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See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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