1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
