When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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