WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
