I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
