my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize