Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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