Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
