ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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