her vagine was all disorganized.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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