I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
