My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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