My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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