I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
