Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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