if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
