Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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