he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
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My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
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Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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