My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
