i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
