We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
