grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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