You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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