the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
