its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
