tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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