Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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