sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
