Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
