No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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