you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
