is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The beer is more important than you right now.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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