Screwed.edu
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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