Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize