dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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