Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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