did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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