You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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