Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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