I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
