i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
