my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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