that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
