wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
