We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
