Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
